Trying new things/church experience

I miss having roommates, I miss just talking to other people just to hear myself, I miss having no one to just talk about mundane things. So I'm going to start blogging a little bit more.

Today I went to study with some people at this girl, Bree's house. I thought we were just going to sit around studying. Surprise, her family is having a BBQ and we're going to get tons of yummy food to eat. It really caught me by surprise. We did very little studying and did mostly eating and talking. It was cool hanging out with people from class.

I tried some new food too. I actually ate cilantro without it tasting like soap or tasting really strong. Bree's mom offered me some chimichurri, she told me it was made from chopped up cilantro and parsley. I was very reluctant and I told her that I didn't like cilantro. The mom told me her mother-in-law also hates cilantro. Hey I try anything once. You're supposed to put it on meat. So we had some steak and i tried just a bit. It was actually really good, i couldn't taste the soapyness or strongness of it. Let's just say i ate a ton of this chimichurri.

This is going to sound gross but the next thing i tried was FUCKING delicious. Bree's mom told us that a friend taught her how to make this delicious thing. Take strawberry and roll/cover it in sour cream then you roll it in brown sugar. Eat up! It was just so surprisingly good.

Everyone in my group, 3 other people, go to church. Today's sunday, so they were going to go to church. I didn't mind tagging along because we were going to study for reals after. A lot of people know i don't believe in God and don't really care for religion. So we go in, it's a really nice place, furnished by IKEA. It's a young person's parish (?). The pasture is talking and i'm listening. I was fine with the over all message he was promoting, which was to love everyone, blah blah blah. There were some instances during his speech, which i highly disagreed but it was whatever. I only got pissed off when he, in passing, bashed evolution.

I was fine with the preaching, the part i hated the most was the singing. It was about 30mins of singing God songs. At this time i'm just watching people and how they react/behaved to the songs. This is what freaked me out the most. People looked like they were in a trance, singing along with the lyrics and raising their arms up in faith. It was really scary to me, people were soooo into it. It wasn't so bad because to me it seemed like it was a concert where people were enthusiastic and singing along. The bad part was that they were doing this with their eyes closed.

After the service we just hung out, i was bored because i didn't really have anyone to talk to. The guys just paired off and started their bro-talks, which i'm okay with, i just wasn't in the conversation. The guys just took their freaking time in hanging out. By the time we got back, it was around 10pm. We all decided to just go home because it was late.

Overall a good day. My group is pretty cool. Except the guys were teasing me about being a Satan worshiper. Yeah...I'm never going to church again.

What a blog? YEAH!

Just the other day I added some guy I met from study abroad. He's pretty cute but that's beside the point, hahaha! He messaged me saying that he remembered me and that he's in Asia teaching. The last time I talked to him, in person, he was off to Spain to teach as well. In his message back to me he says that he spent about 4 years in Europe and wanted to go to Asia, so he did just that.

I start thinking back to when me and Ann were studying abroad, we were super positive people. We were just living in the moment and waiting for the next adventure. It was just so freeing being abroad, making friends with new people, learning cultural differences. I just get a warm fuzzy feeling thinking about it.

The last couple of months, I've just been constantly worrying. I've been worrying about getting a job, going to grad school, being able to get the classes I want in community college, and also worrying about the school loan debt that I'm carrying. Of course all of this stuff is putting a damper on having fun and being carefree.

I look back at the guy i added and he's off abroad teaching and having the time of his life. It really seems like he's really happy and that he hasn't a bother in the world. Of course I'm jealous, but also his positivity makes me wonder.

Why not think positively? It's not going to hurt, all this worrying is not doing me any good. Makes me think that i've been a damper on myself.

All those things, above, i can just stop worry about and it wouldn't be a problem. There's just one thing i can't shake, the future unknown. I'm the type of person who like to be ready when something comes up but there are just too many possibilities ahead of me and it's scary because i don't know if it's going to turn out good or bad.

I guess i just don't realize that when those things finally come, i will probably be able to deal with it without having too much problems and once it's over, I know i'm going to ask myself what i was worried about in the first place.

I just have to keep in mind that the future is unknown but that i'll be able to deal with it then. There's no use in trying to prepare for everything ahead of me. Might as well just live in the moment, even though it's hard when you're really broke (woops negatively slipped, this is going to be hard).